Wednesday, November 22, 2006.

It's Been Awhile Since I have...

It's been awhile since I have recalled about her. Ya, think you should have guessed it when I mentioned the word her.

It was just plain going to the ATM to draw money to pay my mom. But upon getting out of the house, have the urge to go for a spin on the bike. Didn't know where actually should I go, so I went the usual route I take to ECP. Well, as I cycled passed the main road near her old house, I turned in to the road that lead to her old house. Passed the gate while was already teared down, memories flashed thru. Hand signal towards a empty window, throwing a sparker into the sky. Felt so close suddenly, yet knowing it's so far.

Cycling along the path I used to walk her towards ECP, crossing the bridge we used to take, pass by the stone seat we used to sat down, went thru the path we once walked together hand in hand, stopped at the jetty where we enjoyed starglazing together. After awhile, I cycled my way home. It passed her old house again, passed the bus stop we spent many nights together. So much for 1 night.

It's a little overwhelming and a little addicting. Although, I know I can't meet her cause I know she's home since she was online on MSN. Furthermore, cycling pass the same old path won't help since she moved to somewhere else I dunno. Well, I decided to cycle the path I used to walk her home everyday after school. *flash flash flash* lots of memories, so much words can't help explain anything.

Sat down outside the 7-11 I used to sat down while waiting for her. One phrase came into my mind, "When you're in love, anything/everything is worth waiting." Sat there waiting for nothing, lol, but enjoy that silly feeling of waiting alot. I asked myself, what if? what if she so happened to appear? maybe she used her laptop somewhere with wireless network? haha. Honestly, I'm a little confused. I really really wished to see her, yet I'm really scared to see her. what if? she appeared with another guy? what should I do? run away? ya, that's the first thing that come into my mind, haha. but think again, why run away? I dun need to run ar, my appearance might not affect or change anything in her life. then again, I know her well enough to say my appearance will definately confuse her. haha. In the end, I laughed and say to myself "she won't appear in the first place, why so many what if?" lol.

Sat there long enough to "feed my urge" for that feeling, left without any string left behind. Previously my cycling speed is slow and comfortable, I changed my tempo to as fast as thou i'm rushing for time.

I really thanked her for teaching me what is it like to be in love. It was like a fairytale, it was like a dream but it is just a past. lol

B0mb3r screamed @ 9:17 PM