I'm Stupid Or What?
Have been crazy over poker card for fortune telling for quite a few days... Silly me... trying to calcalate her fate and my fate... but glad to see the result as good friend only... I dare to say, out of 10 times I try, 9 times are good friend, but lots of obsticle around us... then the 1 time, it just happen to be so accurate, that the card tell me, there is a woman that is close with her, is in between us... and my heart has a obsticle believe to be the hardest obsticle to her heart... 2 times sama sama result... almost exactly the same!
haiz... silly sia... I change my blog to a setting to block her from entering my blog totally... and ask her to totally give up on me... but I didn't really give up myself... I kept on missing her... not really missing... but.... thinking of her... memories and some horrible flashbacks just keep appearing... especially that day... that day that makes me come to the decision of letting her go... it's so horrible... I can remember those flashback so clearly... even... now... I can imagine how I... flew... haha... flew? haha... FLY!!! so pai seh... Althou it's not totally my fault... but... I'm the superman that yell and fly... haha... got so much attention for flying... lolx
I guess, I'm at fault in the matter... I shall not forget her... althou I ask her to forget me... haha... selfish idiot! YEP! I'm selfish... I'm silly... I'm... having... no choice... lolx... no1 will understand... I oso won't let anyone know... I wonder when did I learn to keep things to myself so much... did I become stronger? or did I become zi bi? I used to be a person to say whatever I want... but now, I become cold and dun speak out when I want... Isolation? haha... A word I learnt from some1 used to be so close... think I need to kick a habit away, and that is to isolate myself from ppl I dun like or dun like me... lolx
hmmm... since this blog is on such high security... I think I shall blog it here... How will an althetic feel if he knows now, in the future, he can no longer do sport like he use to be... In the bball, seeing ppl XL in the court, knowing if you are yourself, you definately not going to let him in the red zone as he wants... not letting him having all the rebounds machiam no1 is around him... ARGGGHHHH... even I'm ah beng like, use to have a legend history, he's scare and fear of me... yet, I can't do anything when he XL in the court... How will I feel when I, myself, knows... I can no longer walk without limping... In front of everyone, have to act as thou I dun mind... but... I do mind alot... knowing I'll limp even worse if I went jeans, make me fear of wearing long pants or jeans... what's worse? knowing I just give up a relationship that I really cherish, but... having no choice but to give up coz of an accident... an accident that almost break my leg again... from the words above, it's obvious bah... that I met with an car accident... I kanna bang by a perdestor and send flying out of my bike... luckily, with lots of blessing, from V and the church, I didn't break anything with such hugh impact...
It's actually one of my worse accident, I hurt my left arm with some bruise... my right arm with some joint pain due to hugh impact... and left leg with some bruise... twisted my back... haha...
hai~ dunno lah... but still... sorry vanessa... I dun mean it... thank you for everything you gave me... I'm sorry I lost one of the star during the fall... thanks for your blessing... you saved my life... I'm sorry that I hurt you... Forgive me, and Forget me... Good luck to you! sorry to say oso, I still love you... Bless you to find your Mr Right in no time to take care of you... then I can ease my heart...
Oh... I still owe her her pendant, hope I saw her alone these few days, and I can pass it to her... It's still with me, everytime... waiting... waiting to return her everyday...
B0mb3r screamed @ 8:30 PM