Be strong, girl...
I know she's a strong girl... she will be ok in no time... I hope... her blog told us she is suffering badly... but... does she knows that I suffer along with her... she doesn't at all... why? coz i dun want her to know...
isn't things simple... have I ever told you? If I ever do something really out of my mind, something bad must have happened to me... but you don't seems to sense it at all... believe it or not... today, I sensed a very bad oman... feel something bad might had happen... the first person I think of... is Vanessa... is she alright? but... I have no right to call her or even sms her...
I understand now... no matter how much you say in your blog... how sad or whatever you are... I'll not tag on the board ever! I'll never unblock you again! If I ever did it, I'll be facing another big disaster of my life!!! This is a curse I put on myself!
I'm passing her mind all the times... does she know, I still wake up almost everyday checking my hp for sms, and hope to receive 1 from her... almost every night, b4 I slp, I'll say I'm sorry, Thank You and Good luck to vanessa... Whenever I saw a piano, whenever I see a ducky, whenever I see something special, it always remind me of vanessa... does she know? no she dun... why? coz i dun want her to... why I dun want her to? coz I wan her to forget me, and I'll like to get out of her life? why I want to get out of her life? coz I dun suit her... why I dun suit her? coz... My left leg bone's metal is bended slightly more after the accident... the accident really make an impact on me... nobody knows... maybe xueyu knows about the accident... but details... no1, no1 at all know... how lonely it is? I'm a person that fear loneliness more than any 1 else... but... who knows I'm lonely? nobody oso...
I seems to make myself surrounded with friends... but none of them, I truly trusted... none... that includes vanessa... when I decide to get along with her... I'm also prepared to be seperated 1 day... by means of her mum, by means of a third party, by means of the feeling changed... but I nv thou that the accident, is the cause at the end of the day...
All she knows, we had a quarrel... and that makes me decided to end the relationship... that makes me real selfish and petty... but, after 2 months of understanding each other, what kind of a person I am? didn't she know at all? I'm not a selfish person... I admit, I'm petty... once I hate you, means I really hate you to the core... I'll nv forgive you... but that will oso means... If I really love you, that means I love you to the core too... she doesn't know the true reason of the ending of r/s... she nv will... coz I'll nv say no matter what!!!
I dun want her to spend her time with a crippler, and the crippler kept believe in the chances of ending the r/s is around the time he enter NS... it will only be wasting of her time on me... haiz... she won't know, and i'm making sure of it...
Hope that nicky is a guy... and hope vanessa develop feelings for him in no time... and hope nicky is a good guy... that will really really take good care of her... trust me! if Nicky ill-treat vanessa, I'll be the first 1 to mok him up!!! Good luck Nicky and Vanessa... hope this time, is really your last relationship, your best relationship... the man that you're looking for life... Good Luck Vanessa... Miss you too... but, in the dark...
anyone knows that my eyes are wet when I have the flashback? NO!!! Y??? coz I dun want anyone to know...
surrounded by the embrace of loneliness
B0mb3r screamed @ 2:33 AM