Wednesday, August 04, 2004.

Burning Fire Deep Within

haha... Rather sian... so I keep thinking of topic to write...

Have been slacking for 4 months... At first, the fire within me burns out... all morale are being pulled away... problems after problems... blow after blow... dry me up totally... have been looking for pillars to hold on to... yet I can't find any but myself as the pillar... Have been standing and moving around with 1 leg... 1 leg holding the whole body weigh plus the burdens and responsibility on my shoulder.

That's the main reason I wanted to leave sch for half an year. It will definately speed up my recovery. But, people around me misunderstood that I chose to leave sch due to stress and Yan Na... I have damn lots of time to think at home... I know what's the best for me to have...

Truth that I can't deny, Yan Na's stress I had been having, is one of the burden on my shoulder that I dun wish to face or carry. But, that stress is still not enough to pull me down. The stress that really pull me down came from Jacky.

The stress Jacky use to gave me. Are not a single big blow come in one shot... he's stress is kind of mental torture. Imaging! like what Xue Yu said, you have a bag full of burden and stress... if you refuse to put them down, it will get heavier and heavier as time pass. Jacky is adding on the stress day by day. Althou the stress he add every day is light, but it gets more and more... heavier and heavier... you might say... I can take out the stress out of the bag everyday. But, taking it out, doesn't solve the main problem... it still comes back every day.

Even if I choose to empty the bag, somehow... the bag refilled to the original weigh and adding even more weigh in it... haha... no point saying so much la.. the problem no longer exist any way... but Jacky is meeting Mr Andrew and Meng Lei... that doesn't involve me... meaning the meeting is not on ATOMIC... no matter what's the outcome... Jacky is definately going to be moody later on... hope his moodiness won't spread...

I side tracked liao... Back to topic... seems like recently, I just found out that the burning fire has relighted... It's a small one... but it's good enough... coz I guess that will help me in my recovery... it's call "Burning Passion"... nice name right... lol... but... hope this small "Burning Passion" won't die out due to any reason... hope this burning passion have a space to burn... else it will turn into darkness once again...

Add On
actually, I do have the burning passion coming back once in awhile during the period of 4 months... but it's kind of huge... but it burns out fast... or dies out due to the lack of space to burn... :p I'm up to something evil now!


B0mb3r screamed @ 10:21 AM